A man, called to testify before the tax office, asked his accountant for advice as to what to wear for the hearing.

"Wear your scruffiest clothes," said the accountant. "Let them think you"re a pauper."

The man then asked his lawyer the same question, only to receive conflicting advice.

"Don"t let them intimidate you," said the lawyer. "Wear your best suit."

Confused, the man decided to consult his minister. "Let me tell you a story," said the minister. "A girl who was about to be married asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. The mother suggested: "Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck." But the girl"s best friend advised: "Wear your sexiest negligee.""

The man said: "Yes, but what"s all this got to do with my problem with the tax office?"

The minister replied: "No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed!"