Is There A Republican Senator?

Is there a Republican Senator
Concerned with people more than war?
Who cares more about me
Than for a lobbyist's money?
Is there a Republican who cares
For anyone but millionaires?

Liberals think of We
Conservatives think of Me

Beauty

In a cornfield,
The most beautiful rose
Is a weed.

Roses

Red for love.
Yellow for jealousy.
Pink for grace.
White is platonic.
Roses talk too much.

Impatiens 3

Many hues
In a patchwork unpatterned -
Nature's quilt.

Paperwork

Jesus healed the sick
Without a referral
From their HMO.

Dreaming

Conservatives live a dream
(Or so it would seem) -

Tomorrow a nightmare
Too dreadful to bear.

Today a heartache
That keeps them awake.

Yesterday's the thing
That calms their sleeping.

Mary Had A Little Lamb

Mary had a little lamb,
A gift from her father,
But when daddy lost his job,
He took the lamb to slaughter.

Contentment

One garden
One bird feeder
Two chairs.

Daylilies

What color
Are my lilies?
Big, Bold, Gold.

Fathers & Daughters

Daughters marry dad -
Would I want her husband
To be like me?

Bird Song

Birds sing freely
Not knowing they could get
A buck per download.

Royal Wedding

Royal Candles light
The chapel with purple flame.
Morning Glories rise
To enjoy the procession.
Bishop's Weed officiates.

In America, We Value Freedom

In America, we value Freedom
Unless it lessens corporate profit.
Then we find it burdensome
And demand just the opposite.

In America, we value Freedom
Unless the Other is in office.
Then we find it burdensome
& Freedom hangs from a precipice.

In America, we value Freedom
Unless yours interferes with mine.
Then we find it burdensome
And that's where we draw the line.

Seasons

With Spring comes flowers,
And Summer is lots of fun.
Winter's cleansing snow showers
Follow Fall's scents of cinnamon.

Winter, Spring, Summer & Fall:
Our homeless endure them all.

There's nothing wrong
With a college degree
That hard work won't cure.

There's nothing more unmovable
Than a mind convinced of the unprovable.

Better to be thought a half-wit
Than vote Republican and prove it.

Impatiens 2

So many colors
Can't water them enough
Like children's minds

The Mask

Republicans lift their mask
To show their hypocrisy
By taking Obama to task.
Expecting him to toil
Instead of making BP
Clean up their own damn oil.

Hard Labor

To do the job right,
You can't hire just any man.
To really screw things up,
It takes a Republican.

Bishop's Weed

Snow on the mountain
Like all things religious
Wants to take over

Gold Mine

BP had a goldmine
     At the bottom of the sea
Until they ruined the coastline
     Foreseeable calamity!

Crabapple Tree

Cooling shade
Beautiful flowers
Sour fruit

Flowers

Tulips in Spring
Roses in Summer
Death blooms in Winter

Baby

The sun shines brightly
Rain clouds darken the landscape -
Baby says, "Again!"

Skateboards

Skateboards in the Summer
Toboggans in the winter
Fractures all year long.

Roses

Rain falls on my roses
Scattering the petals -
A girl plays the bride.

Fishermen

Heavy rests the oil
On the Gulf of Mexico.
Dead fish everywhere -
What's a fisherman to do?
Their livelihood is gone.

A Toast

The sun shines on rich
And poor alike.  Here's hoping
The rich enjoy it less.

GOP Ideas

I'm not saying the GOP rehashes
Old ideas, but the last new one
They had is suffering from hot flashes.

Friends

Impatiens like shade.
Roses bloom best in the sun.
Friends they cannot be.

The Surprise of Being a Christian

Faith is belief in the unproven/unprovable - which disqualifies most Conservative Christians, since their religion is typically based on pseudo-scholarship ("assurances" and apologetics) rather than faith. To doubt is not a sin, but reverence for the "God of Truth" (Deu 32:4).



Faith requires action (James 2: 18, 20, 26) - a workless faith isn't faith at all. Worshiping despite one's doubt is Faith in action.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

The Surprise of Being a Christian

Faith is belief in the unproven/unprovable - which disqualifies most Conservative Christians, since their religion is typically based on pseudo-scholarship ("assurances" and apologetics) rather than faith. To doubt is not a sin, but reverence for the "God of Truth" (Deu 32:4).



Faith requires action (James 2: 18, 20, 26) - a workless faith isn't faith at all. Worshiping despite one's doubt is Faith in action.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Three women were talking about the declining numbers in church attendance.
One said: 'The congregation at my church is down to around forty.'
The  second  said:   'You're lucky. Most Sundays we consider ourselves fortunate if there are more than twenty people in the congregation at our church.'
The third said: "That's nothing. It is so bad in our church that when the minister says "dearly beloved", I blush!'

"Simply read the letters on that chart," ordered the draft board doctor.
"I don't see any chart," answered the draftee happily.
"You're absolutely right," snapped the doctor. "There isn't any chart You're 1-A."

Teacher: You can't sleep in my class.
Pupil: I could if you didn't talk so loud.

"Are you enjoying the bus ride?"

"Yes!"

"Then why are you riding with your eyes shut? Are you sick?"

"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see women stand!"

Preacher:  "Please take it easy on the bill for repairing my car. Remember, I am a poor preacher."
Mechanic: "I know; I heard you Sunday!"

A coroner had a celebrated disdain for the legal profession. In a recent criminal trial, he was called on to testify. He was questioned by the attorney for the defense.
"Doctor, is it not the case that you do not know my client personally?"
"That is so," said the coroner.
"Is it not true that you never even met him?"
"True," answered the doctor.
"In fact, isn't it the case that you don't even know whether my client is living or dead?" thundered the lawyer, gathering steam.
"Quite true," replied the doctor calmly. "For all I know his brain could be in ajar on my desk in the morgue, but the rest of him might well be out practicing law somewhere."

If a man smashes a clock, he can be accused of killing time, unless the clock struck first.

How many peas in a pint?
One.

Night after night, a keen ornithologist stood in his backyard hooting like an owl. After weeks of getting no reply, he suddenly heard an owl hoot back at him. He was overjoyed at the response and for the next nine months man and bird kept up a regular dialogue of hooting. He was fascinated by his ability to relate to a wild creature and kept a thorough record of all their conversations.

Just when he was on the brink of taking his findings to the Natural History Society, his wife happened to be talking to a neighbor who lived four doors away.

'My husband spends his nights calling to owls,' she confided.

The neighbor said: "That's funny. So does mine!'

Little boy (calling father at office): "Hello, who is this?"
Father (recognizing son's voice): "The smartest man in the world."
Little boy: "Pardon me; I got the wrong number."

Impatiens

Impatiens bright &
Colorful, fill the Summer-
Die with the 1st frost

Sparrows

Only the strong sur-
Vive.  Sparrows fight for their seed
Every morning.

A teacher had given her second graders a lesson on magnets. Later she asked, "My name starts with "M" and I pick up things. What am I?"

They answered, "Mother."

The telephone bell on a prominent economist's desk rang insistently. When he answered, a voice informed him,

"You're all wet about the cost of living reaching a new high! My wife and I live sumptuously— eating everything we like—on sixty-eight cents a week."

"Sixty-eight cents a week!" echoed the economist. "I can't believe it! Won't you tell me how? And to make sure I get the story straight, please speak louder."

"I can't speak louder," came the answer. "I'm a goldfish."

A hard-boiled egg is hard to beat.

Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?
Johnny: A new bike.

Pastor: "Say, deacon, a mule died out in front of the church."
Deacon: "Well, it's the job of you ministers to look after the dead. Why tell me?"
Pastor: "You're right; it is my job. But we always notify the next of kin."

Parents spend the first part of a child's life urging him to walk and talk, and the rest of his childhood making him sit down and shut up.

"What are you doing with those two pillows under your arms?"

"These aren't pillows. They are five-year deodorant pads!"

CHURCH SIGNBOARDS

• Work for the Lord. The pay isn't much, but the retirement plan is out of this world.
• Interested in going to heaven? Apply here for flight training!
• Since you can't take it with you, why not leave it here?
• You can't take it with you, but you can send it on ahead.
• No parking. Violators will be turned into a pillar of salt.
• We have a prophet-sharing plan for you.
• The Lord loveth a cheerful giver. He also accepteth from a grouch.

What is green, lies in a ditch, and is covered with cookie crumbs?

A girl scout who has fainted.

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS 

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a government building is this --you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of Republicans .... it creates a hostile work environment.