There are so many twelve-steps today. For example, you have AA, or Alcoholics Anonymous. Then there's ACA—Adult Children of Alcoholics. These are not inclusive enough. Here is a recovery program that covers all the bases:

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Or, Adult Bad Children of Dysfunctional Evil Families Getting Hooked Into Just Keeping Little Mean Nasty Old People Quiet, Requiring Specialized Treatment Using Valium With eX-treme unYielding Zeal.