An elderly couple died in a car crash. They had been in excellent health for years through exercizing regularly and also because the wife was obsessed with health foods, keeping a strict watch on both then-diets. So when St. Peter welcomed them to heaven, they were keen to take advantage of the first-rate relaxation facilities. The husband was particularly impressed by the eighteen-hole golf course and the Olympic-sized swimming pool.

"This really is a fantastic place you've got,' he told St. Peter.

'And there's more,' said St. Peter. 'Let me show you the restaurant.'

As they observed the sumptuous buffet serving every food imaginable, the husband asked; 'Where's the low fat table?'

'Oh, you don't have to worry about things like that,' said St. Peter. 'You can eat whatever you want, no matter how fatty it is, and it's all free. After all, this is heaven!'

With that, the husband threw his hat to the ground in a fit of temper.

'What's the matter?' asked St. Peter.

Turning to his wife, the husband snapped: 'This is all your fault, Mildred. If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!'