A man dies and meets St. Peter at the Pearly gates. Behind St. Peter, is a wall of clocks. The man asks St. Peter, "What are all those clocks".

St Peter answers, " Everyone has one. The hands move when someone lies".

The man asks about George Washington. St Peter says."The hands have never moved".

The man: What about Abe Lincoln?

St Peter: Only moved twice.

The man: Where is Glenn Beck's clock?

St. Peter: It's in Jesus' office. He's using it for a fan!