Tuesday, November 17, 2009

GOP lawmaker: Islam 'some savage religion'

Economic booster or 'Gitmo North'?

Don Manzullo should not be an elected Representative. He took an oath to uphold the Constitution, and here he is calling Islam a "savage religion." Has he never heard of the Freedom of Religion? I have lived and traveled in the Middle East among Muslims and found that most of them are no different than you or I. Like me, they want just to live in peace, work, support their families and find killing another human being repugnant.

Even though I, personally, am a Christian, this hateful Representative has done nothing here but reinforce many Muslim's distrust of us.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

The More Things Change The More They Stay The Same

Last summer, during our stay-cation, we revisited a local Victorian Village/museum and one of the buildings we toured was a turn-of-the century (1900) hospital.  The guide mentioned that back then, it was mainly the rich (who overpaid to compensate) and the poor who went to a doctor, the Middle Class mostly treated themselves at home.

Not much has changed.  The poor in this country and the more affluent (who overpay to their insurance companies to compensate) get treated. It is what we call the "working poor" and lower Middle Class that can't afford medical care or qualify for some sort of affordable insurance and end up treating themselves, as long as possible, at home.

Not much, it seems, has changed.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Republican Deficits

Historically, it is Republicans who increase the deficit.  "From 1946 to today, Democrat have presidents pushed the deficit up by 3.2 percent per year. Republican presidents, on the other hand, increased the budget deficit by 9.7 percent."  Over 86% of the current deficit was inherited from previous administrations.

Don't get me wrong, Obama may be better than Bush, but there are a lot of things I don't like about him either.  As a Christian, I know that no human government will ever be perfect, we, rather, await the Kingdom of God, but, in the meantime, we ask the best of our government that it can do for its citizens.

Corporate versus Government Health Insurance

I am against health insurance - it adds nothing to health care except cost - and should be banned as a ponzi scheme.  Not having insurance companies to pay the bill would lower health care costs because hospitals would have to be competitive and charge what their customers can pay - or go out of business.  Health insurance, itself, is actually a form of corporate Socialism where the policy holders pool their health dollars while the corporation handles the money and takes a hefty cut for themselves.

It is proper to rely on government to help with things that individuals cannot do themselves - roads, bridges, libraries, a military, snow removal in the North, hurricane cleanup in the South, etc.  Having government run health insurance would replace government overhead with the current usurious corporate overhead but, at least, citizens, through their elected Representatives would have a voice.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Politics, Not Religion, At Heart of Health Care Reform Wrangle on Abortion

Politics, Not Religion, At Heart of Health Care Reform Wrangle on Abortion

Health, is not a privilege - well, it is now - a privilege reserved only for those who can afford it, but shouldn't be (and stands contrary to Jesus' teaching in scripture).

With thousands of people dying each year due to their inability to obtain medical insurance or pay for treatment, it is hypocritical of so-called "pro-life" people to hold these people's lives hostage over abortion. It underlines the point often, legitimately, made that "pro-lifers" only care about fetuses' lives, but their concern for life ends with a baby's birth.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

The News

The News is only as Liberal (or Conservative) as their corporate masters allow them to be.  The purpose of corporate news is to collect advertising revenue and promote Corporatism (Is anyone so naive as to believe that the economic system we have in the US is Capitalism?).

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Friday, October 30, 2009

Thursday, October 29, 2009

When you want to borrow money, borrow it from a pessimist.
Pessimists don't expect you to pay it back.
When my wife and I first got married, like most newlyweds, we struggled and I was only able to get her some inexpensive jewelry for Christmas. But she appreciated it nonetheless. As time went on, we naturally became more affluent and this year she was really excited with what I was able to get her - a gallon of gas.
If you want to know what God thinks of America just look at who He made President.

What we mean by socialism

Socialism has been called, "The secular expression of the Christian ideal" and certainly deserves another look.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

The GOP Plan

The entire raison d'exister of the Republican Party, and by extension, the Christian Right (since the Christian Right is the GOP), is to block any and all progress and return America to the pre Civil Rights era.

When Republicans, which is now a regional party representing mainly the South say, "We want our country back," one suspects that the country they are referring to is the Confederate States of America.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Several buzzards had been circling all day looking for a dead animal carcass to eat. As night approached, one wearily suggested to the others, "Let's just kill some small animal and eat it. If we don't, we'll all die of starvation."

Buzzard's don't do that," said a second.

"Says who?"

"I read it in Wikipedia."
A minister asked a little girl what she thought of her first church service.
"The music was nice," she replied, "but the commercial was too long.
Q: What is the difference between a husband and a boyfriend?
A: About 30 pounds.

Friday, October 23, 2009

"Why does my girlfriend always close her eyes when I kiss her?"
"Look in the mirror and you'll know."
WIFE: Why don't you ever wear your wedding ring?
HUSBAND: It cuts off my circulation.
WIFE: It's supposed to.
A couple was touring the Capitol in Washington and the guide pointed to a gentleman as the congressional chaplain.

The lady asked, "What does the chaplain do? Does he pray for the House and Senate?"

The guide answered, "No, he gets up, takes one look at the Congress, then prays for the country!"

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Q: What food will reduce a woman's sex drive by 50%?
A: Wedding cake.
Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A: Because real men don't stop and ask for directions.
I'm deathly afraid of doctors and with good reason - the first time I ever saw one, he slapped me.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Preaching the Gospel Would be Against the Law! (And Other Hate Crimes Myths)

Preaching the Gospel Would be Against the Law! (And Other Hate Crimes Myths)

The real benefit of hate crimes legislation is it allows Federal prosecutors to step in if local juries are biased - like in the South where, in the past, it was a rare for a white man to be punished for killing a black person, or in cases where the jury's verdict is tainted by anti-gay prejudice.

The Right's objection to hate crimes legislation should be obvious - most hate crimes are committed by people on the Right, i.e. white supremacists, etc.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

What a good thing Adam had - when he told a joke he knew no one had ever heard it before.
A rich Republican had car trouble while on a mountain holiday. He puttered into the yard of a rickety roadside gas station and called to the greasy, bearded attendant, "Have you had any experience with BMWs?"

"Buddy, if I could work on cars like that, I don't reckon I'd be here.
No man is a greater fool than he that turns his back on a cat while a ham sandwich rests on the desk.

To the Left of Socialism

Jesus wasn't actually a Socialist - He was to the Left of Socialism.  Under Socialism, you get to keep your stuff (and before anyone asks, when I came to Christianity, my wife and I did give away everything we had and started over). Socialism is the secular expression of the Christian Ideal, as far as it goes, but Socialism treats everyone equally.  The Christian Ideal is to put others first.

The Christian Ideal is the opposite of the Secular Ideal (and, obviously, the Christian Right)- Christianity calls for elevating the poor and oppressed and lowering the rich and famous.

Jesus stated that it's practically impossible (easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle) for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.  Paul forbade giving special treatment to wealthy members of the church - and yet, that's exactly what many churches do.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Thats why babies have mothers

Reminds me of when I had to change my grand daughter - eventually she wanted her own mask.

They Wait

"They are God's children and they have a face."

Republicans in Congress

It wouldn't be so funny if there weren't so much truth in it.

Most politicians promise to clean up the government and end up cleaning it out.
I was watching TV last night and a Cialis commercial came on and warned that, if you have an erection lasting more than four hours, you should tell a doctor.  If I had an erection lasting four hours, my wife would tell everybody.
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

Turning Our Backs On God

No political party has an "in" with God. The problem is, is that after Civil Rights passed, white Christians in the South formed whites only Christian schools to circumvent desegregation, then Carter threatened to tax such schools whose only purpose was to segregate. This angered Jerry Falwell who formed the Moral Majority, after he lost that war, he turned his attention to abortion and eventually homosexuality.

Eventually, the Christian Right threw in their lot with the Republican Party and pretty much took it over. The problem is, by doing so they turned their back on God and began to trust in politics. Instead of "go ye therefore," they went to the polls. Instead of bringing a heart-changing message, they brought lobbyists to change laws.

As to Socialism, Communism, etc., God could care less (except we are to obey the government of wherever we find ourselves) - He didn't want a king in Israel either. Christianity is a Kingdom. Biblically, Christians are only nominally citizens of the countries they were born to and, rather, citizens of a higher Government.

The concept of a "Christian Nation" as a physical nation is an oxymoron. Regardless of what the Founders of America may or may not have intended. America is not a Christian Nation. It can't be. Jesus said, "My Kingdom is not of this world." A Christian must "turn the other cheek," forgive his enemies, not return anger for anger, etc., and an earthly nation cannot do that and survive.

As to Left or Right, if you read the Bible and pay attention to what Jesus said, He was very Liberal: Heal the sick, feed the poor, render to Caesar what is Caesar's (pay your taxes). The Bible requires fair wages, and business regulation (honest weights & measures). The early Church itself was Socialist: they sold all they had and everyone was given what they needed because they believed that what they had wasn't theirs, but God's and they, themselves, were not free but God's "personal property" (translated "peculiar people" in the King James.

The Christian Right, is, essentially, a reinterpretation of Christianity to accommodate American materialism - just as the Southern Baptist Church was founded to accommodate slavery. And, in that sense, it is heretical. The Left is not innocent - all too often we trust in government instead of God in different areas than does the Right, but God gets second place either way.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. 'What's it about?' he asked. 'I don't know,' she replied. 'I can't read.'
The kindergarten teacher noticed a little puddle under Mary's chair.

'Oh, Mary!' said the teacher. 'You should have put your hand up.'

'I did,' said Mary. 'But it still trickled through my fingers.'
If twelve make a dozen, how many make a million?

Very few.
Doctor: Nobody lives forever.
Patient: Do you mind if I try?

Monday, February 16, 2009

Teacher: I don't see how one person can make so many mistakes on his homework!

Student: It wasn't one person. My dad helped me.
"You know, I think everyone should divide his worldly goods with the other fellow," said one office worker to another.

"That's a good idea. If you had two thousand dollars, would you give me one half?"


"And if you had two automobiles, would you give me one?"


"And if you had two shirts, would you give me one?"



"Because I've got two shirts."
Following a succession of complaints about her shortcomings as a cook and housekeeper, a maid was dismissed by her wealthy female employer.

Refusing to accept such criticism, the maid answered back. 'Your husband considers me a better cook and housekeeper than you, madam. He has told me himself. And furthermore, I am better in bed than you!'

'And I suppose my husband told you that, too?' said the rich woman angrily.

'No, madam. The mailman.'
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, 'Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?' I mentally polished my halo while I asked, 'No, how are we alike?' 'You're both old,' he replied.
Q: "How do you make anti-freeze?"
A: "Steal her blanket."
You just might be a Conservative if the officer that just pulled you over asks if "you have any I.D."..and you respond "About whut?"

Sunday, February 15, 2009

You just might be a Conservative if When you finish eating your bologna you use the rind for dental floss.
Clara: "My pastor is so good he can talk on any subject for an hour."

Sarah: "That's nothing! My pastor can talk for an hour without a subject!"
A zookeeper needed some extra animals for his zoo, so he decided to write a letter. But unfortunately he didn't know the plural of 'mongoose'.

He started the letter: 'To whom it may concern, I need two mongeese.' But that didn't sound right, so he tried again. 'To whom it may concern, I need two mongooses.' But that didn't sound right either. Then he had an idea. 'To whom it may concern, I need a mongoose, and while you're at it, send me another one.'
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: 'We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.' The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, 'I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!'
A small boy went to a school picnic, but it hardly met his expectations. He was stung by a bee; he fell into a creek; a little girl pulled his hair; he got badly sunburned. As he arrived home, limping and with torn and muddy clothes, his mother greeted him and asked, "Well, Son, what kind of time did you have at the picnic?"

"Mom," Sonny replied slowly, "I'm so glad I'm back, I'm glad I went."
Teacher: Is there anything you can do better than anyone else?

Cindy: Yes, sir, read my own handwriting.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Q: "What does an elephant do when he hurts his toe?"

A: "He calls a tow truck."
You just might be a Conservative if you and your friends are putting an engine in a pickup, drinking beer, and the conversation is: Which county jail has the best food!
A worker was given the job of painting white lines down the middle of the highway. On his first day, he painted six miles; on his second day, he did three miles; and on his third day, he painted less than a mile.

The foreman was not pleased. 'How come you're doing less each day?' he demanded.

'Because,' said the worker indignantly, 'each day I keep getting further away from the can of paint!'
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, 'Who was THAT?'
A visitor at a state prison asked one of the prisoners,

"What's your name?"

"9742," the prisoner sneered.

"Is that your real name?"

"Naw," he said, "just me pen name."
A teacher asked her first-grade class to bring their birth certificates to class. When the time came to give them to her, Timmy stood up and said very politely, "Teacher, I forgot my excuse for being born."

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I don't know what this means about how long winter will last, but when the groundhog came out to check his shadow, Sarah Palin shot it.
After discussing the weather peculiarities of March, the teacher asked, "What is it that comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb?"

Third Grader: Father.
You just might be a Republican if your age is higher than your I.Q.
Larry: "When I would wear my hand-me-downs to school, all the boys would make fun of me."

Moe: "What did you do?"

Larry: "I hit them over the head with my purse!"
At the height of the Cold War, the Russians and the Americans had got together and decided that the only way to resolve matters was by way of a dogfight. Whichever country lost the fight would lay down its arms. To prepare for the contest, each country had five years in which to breed the world's meanest fighting dog.

Russian experts set to work with a vengeance, rounding up the biggest, nastiest Dobermans and Rottweillers and breeding them with Siberian wolves. They took only the strongest puppy from each litter and made sure that it received all the milk, even at the expense of the rest of the puppies. After five years they came up with a truly fearsome beast - a dog that no human dared approach and which had to be kept in a cage behind five-inch thick steel bars. The Russian dog was a killing machine.

Come the day of the fight, the Russians paraded their awesome animal and waited to see what kind of dog the Americans would offer as a challenger. To the Russians' amazement and amusement, the American handler was walking a nine foot long dachshund. The Russians couldn't believe that after five years, the most brutal hound the Americans could come up with was an elongated sausage dog.

The two animals were left alone in the ring. The Russian dog snarled and growled at its opponent but the American dog simply waddled forward and swallowed it whole.

The Russians were distraught. They said to the Americans: 'Our best scientists have spent five years developing this brutal dog, crossbreeding with wolves. We thought it was unbeatable.'

'Well,' said the Americans, 'we had our best plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a dachshund.'
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, '62.' He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, 'Did you start at 1?'
Walking along a street a man was attracted by frightened screams from a house. Rushing in he found a mother frantic because her little son had swallowed a quarter. Seizing the child by the heels, he held him up, gave him a few shakes, and the coin dropped to the floor. The grateful mother was lost in admiration.

"You certainly knew how to get it out of him," she said. "Are you a doctor?"

"No, madam," the man replied, "I'm from the IRS."

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

A Republican was running for re-election and was talking at a campaign stop to his constituents.

"My opponent has called me a liar. Rest assured, I have never lied to you. The only problem I have is that the facts don't always match up with what I believe."
Q: Why did the Republican have tire tread marks on his back?
A: From crawling across the street when the pedestrian sign said "DON'T WALK".
Bill: I keep seeing spots before my eyes.
Al: Have you seen a doctor?
Bill: No, just spots.
Ben: "They tell me when I'm in the saddle I'm a part of the horse."

Clyde: "Yes, but did they tell you what part?"
A little-known fact about William Tell is that apart from being an expert with the crossbow, he was an accomplished chef. One day he had prepared a new dish for his Swiss friends, but, ever the perfectionist, he felt there was something missing with the sauce.

'More berries in the sauce?' he suggested.

'No, no,' they said. 'I think you have just the right amount of berries.'

'More salt, then?'

'No, the amount of salt is perfect,' they insisted.

'Herbs, that's it,' he said triumphantly. 'I should have put in more herbs. What do you think?'

'Hmm,' they pondered, tasting the sauce. 'Perhaps only thyme, Will Tell.'
I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up the idea. They have no holidays.
She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, 'But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!'

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

A fellow was having his first date with a new girl. Things were going along pretty well, as they rode along in his car, when she turned to him and coyly asked: "Do you want to see where I was operated on?"

"Why—uh—yeah. Sure!" he gulped.

"Well, all right," said the girl. "We're just two blocks from the hospital now."
Q: Why can't Republicans put in light bulbs?
A: Keep breakin' em' with hammers.
Mother: Why are you crying?
Tommy: Daddy hit his hand with a hammer.
Mother: You should be laughing.
Tommy: I did.
Two men found three hand grenades and decided that they ought to take them to the police station.

"What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asked one.

The other replied: "Don't worry. We'll just lie and tell them we only found two."
My little girl was sitting on her father's lap facing a mirror. After gazing intently at her reflection for some minutes, she said, "Daddy, did God make you?"

"Certainly, my dear," he told her.

"And did he make me, too?" taking another look in the mirror.

"Certainly, dear. What makes you ask?"

"Seems to me He's doing better work lately."

Monday, February 9, 2009

It's been said that "Republicans never met a tax they liked," but lately, it seems that the Democrats never met a tax they paid.
I don't know what this means about how long winter will last, but when the groundhog came out to check his shadow, Sarah Palin shot it.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

"They tell me you love music."

"Yes, I do. But never mind—keep right on playing."
A man, called to testify before the tax office, asked his accountant for advice as to what to wear for the hearing.

"Wear your scruffiest clothes," said the accountant. "Let them think you"re a pauper."

The man then asked his lawyer the same question, only to receive conflicting advice.

"Don"t let them intimidate you," said the lawyer. "Wear your best suit."

Confused, the man decided to consult his minister. "Let me tell you a story," said the minister. "A girl who was about to be married asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. The mother suggested: "Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck." But the girl"s best friend advised: "Wear your sexiest negligee.""

The man said: "Yes, but what"s all this got to do with my problem with the tax office?"

The minister replied: "No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed!"
She: "Will you love me when I am old and wrinkled?"

He: "Yes, I do!"
Q: What do you see when you look directly into a Republican's eyes?

A: The back of his head.
Haven't I seen your face before somewhere else?

I don't think so. It's always been right here between my ears.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Suzie: I can be sick for nothing because my dad is a doctor.

Tommie: So what? I can be good for nothing because my dad is a minister.
Q: What do you call a Republican between two Democrats?
A: A mental block.
Announcement: The lodge meeting will be postponed. The Supreme Exalted Invincible Unlimited Sixty-Ninth Degree Potentate's wife wouldn't let him come!
Some girls shrink from sex. Others get bigger...and bigger...
Judge: "Now tell me, why did you steal that purse?"

Defendant : "Your honor, I was not feeling well and I thought the change would do me good."

Monday, February 2, 2009

Q: Did you hear about the Republican who attempted to drive to Disney World?

A: She saw a sign saying: "Disney World Left" so she went home.
Bus Passenger (angrily): Madam, please control your child! He just tore off my wig.

Mother: Thank goodness! I thought he scalped you.
"Can any of you children tell me who lived in the Garden of Eden?" asked the Sunday school teacher.

"Yes, teacher," said a little girl, "I think it was the Adamses."
A farmer who lived in a remote part of the country never ventured into the city until one day he was persuaded by his wife to take the family to a shopping mall. It was their first taste of city life. While the wife was in the toilet, the man and his young son looked around the mall. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the two shiny silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

"What is it?" asked the boy.

The father, never having seen an elevator, said: "I don"t know, son."

They watched enthralled as an elderly lady went over to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls then opened and she shuffled into a small room. The walls closed behind her, and the boy and his father gazed in awe as the small numbers above the walls lit up in sequence. They continued to watch until the last number was reached and then the numbers began to light up in reverse order. Finally the walls opened again and out stepped a beautiful young woman.

Without taking his eyes off her, the father quietly said to the boy: "Go get your mother."
After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church board following the close of the service. The first man to arrive was a stranger. "You misunderstood my announcement. This is a meeting of the board," said the minister.

"I know," said the man, "but if there is anyone here more bored than I am, I'd like to meet him."

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Did you hear about the Republican who put under Education on his job application, 'Hooked On Phonics'...
Q: What happens when a Republican developes Alzheimers?
A: His IQ goes up.
Wilma and her husband Barney go to church every Sunday, and during the service Barney falls asleep. One afternoon Wilma goes to the priest and asks what she can do. The priest hands her a needle and tells her to prick him with it every time he falls asleep.

The next week at church Barney falls asleep while the priest is talking and when the priest asks who is our savior? Wilma pokes him with the needle and he yells out JESUS!!

Soon after that he goes back to sleep. The next question the priest asks is: Who is Jesus's Father? Wilma pokes him with the needle and Barney yells out GOD!!and goes back to sleep.

The last question the priest asks is what did Eve say to Adam after he impregnated her for the 99th time? Wilma pricks him with the needle again and he yells: IF YOU POKE THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME I'LL SNAP IT IN HALF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE!!
What's the difference between a cat and a frog?

A cat has nine lives and a frog croaks every night.
As a cruise ship was leaving Athens, a woman went up to the captain and, pointing to the distant hills, inquired:

"What is that white stuff on those hills?"

"That is snow, madam," replied the captain.

"Well," said the lady, "I thought so myself. But a gentleman just told me it was Greece."
A man was flying in a hot air balloon when he became aware that he was lost. So he reduced height until he was able to call out to a man on the ground: "Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don"t know where I am."

The man on the ground said: "You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately twenty-five feet above this field. You are between latitude thirty-six and thirty-eight degrees north and between longitude forty and forty-five degrees east."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"Yes. How did you know?"

"Well," said the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of you information, and the fact is I am still lost."

The man on the ground said: "And you must be a Republican,"

"That"s right," said the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Because you don"t know where you are or where you are going. You have made a promise that you cannot keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is that you are in the same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."
Psychiatrist to patient: "You're quite right. A man is following you constantly. He's trying to collect the $200 you owe me."