Saturday, October 31, 2009

Friday, October 30, 2009

Thursday, October 29, 2009

When you want to borrow money, borrow it from a pessimist.
Pessimists don't expect you to pay it back.
When my wife and I first got married, like most newlyweds, we struggled and I was only able to get her some inexpensive jewelry for Christmas. But she appreciated it nonetheless. As time went on, we naturally became more affluent and this year she was really excited with what I was able to get her - a gallon of gas.
If you want to know what God thinks of America just look at who He made President.

What we mean by socialism

Socialism has been called, "The secular expression of the Christian ideal" and certainly deserves another look.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

The GOP Plan

The entire raison d'exister of the Republican Party, and by extension, the Christian Right (since the Christian Right is the GOP), is to block any and all progress and return America to the pre Civil Rights era.

When Republicans, which is now a regional party representing mainly the South say, "We want our country back," one suspects that the country they are referring to is the Confederate States of America.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Several buzzards had been circling all day looking for a dead animal carcass to eat. As night approached, one wearily suggested to the others, "Let's just kill some small animal and eat it. If we don't, we'll all die of starvation."

Buzzard's don't do that," said a second.

"Says who?"

"I read it in Wikipedia."
A minister asked a little girl what she thought of her first church service.
"The music was nice," she replied, "but the commercial was too long.
Q: What is the difference between a husband and a boyfriend?
A: About 30 pounds.

Friday, October 23, 2009

"Why does my girlfriend always close her eyes when I kiss her?"
"Look in the mirror and you'll know."
WIFE: Why don't you ever wear your wedding ring?
HUSBAND: It cuts off my circulation.
WIFE: It's supposed to.
A couple was touring the Capitol in Washington and the guide pointed to a gentleman as the congressional chaplain.

The lady asked, "What does the chaplain do? Does he pray for the House and Senate?"

The guide answered, "No, he gets up, takes one look at the Congress, then prays for the country!"

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Q: What food will reduce a woman's sex drive by 50%?
A: Wedding cake.
Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A: Because real men don't stop and ask for directions.
I'm deathly afraid of doctors and with good reason - the first time I ever saw one, he slapped me.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Preaching the Gospel Would be Against the Law! (And Other Hate Crimes Myths)

Preaching the Gospel Would be Against the Law! (And Other Hate Crimes Myths)

The real benefit of hate crimes legislation is it allows Federal prosecutors to step in if local juries are biased - like in the South where, in the past, it was a rare for a white man to be punished for killing a black person, or in cases where the jury's verdict is tainted by anti-gay prejudice.

The Right's objection to hate crimes legislation should be obvious - most hate crimes are committed by people on the Right, i.e. white supremacists, etc.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

What a good thing Adam had - when he told a joke he knew no one had ever heard it before.
A rich Republican had car trouble while on a mountain holiday. He puttered into the yard of a rickety roadside gas station and called to the greasy, bearded attendant, "Have you had any experience with BMWs?"

"Buddy, if I could work on cars like that, I don't reckon I'd be here.
No man is a greater fool than he that turns his back on a cat while a ham sandwich rests on the desk.

To the Left of Socialism

Jesus wasn't actually a Socialist - He was to the Left of Socialism.  Under Socialism, you get to keep your stuff (and before anyone asks, when I came to Christianity, my wife and I did give away everything we had and started over). Socialism is the secular expression of the Christian Ideal, as far as it goes, but Socialism treats everyone equally.  The Christian Ideal is to put others first.

The Christian Ideal is the opposite of the Secular Ideal (and, obviously, the Christian Right)- Christianity calls for elevating the poor and oppressed and lowering the rich and famous.

Jesus stated that it's practically impossible (easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle) for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.  Paul forbade giving special treatment to wealthy members of the church - and yet, that's exactly what many churches do.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Thats why babies have mothers

Reminds me of when I had to change my grand daughter - eventually she wanted her own mask.

They Wait

"They are God's children and they have a face."

Republicans in Congress

It wouldn't be so funny if there weren't so much truth in it.

Most politicians promise to clean up the government and end up cleaning it out.
I was watching TV last night and a Cialis commercial came on and warned that, if you have an erection lasting more than four hours, you should tell a doctor.  If I had an erection lasting four hours, my wife would tell everybody.
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

Turning Our Backs On God

No political party has an "in" with God. The problem is, is that after Civil Rights passed, white Christians in the South formed whites only Christian schools to circumvent desegregation, then Carter threatened to tax such schools whose only purpose was to segregate. This angered Jerry Falwell who formed the Moral Majority, after he lost that war, he turned his attention to abortion and eventually homosexuality.

Eventually, the Christian Right threw in their lot with the Republican Party and pretty much took it over. The problem is, by doing so they turned their back on God and began to trust in politics. Instead of "go ye therefore," they went to the polls. Instead of bringing a heart-changing message, they brought lobbyists to change laws.

As to Socialism, Communism, etc., God could care less (except we are to obey the government of wherever we find ourselves) - He didn't want a king in Israel either. Christianity is a Kingdom. Biblically, Christians are only nominally citizens of the countries they were born to and, rather, citizens of a higher Government.

The concept of a "Christian Nation" as a physical nation is an oxymoron. Regardless of what the Founders of America may or may not have intended. America is not a Christian Nation. It can't be. Jesus said, "My Kingdom is not of this world." A Christian must "turn the other cheek," forgive his enemies, not return anger for anger, etc., and an earthly nation cannot do that and survive.

As to Left or Right, if you read the Bible and pay attention to what Jesus said, He was very Liberal: Heal the sick, feed the poor, render to Caesar what is Caesar's (pay your taxes). The Bible requires fair wages, and business regulation (honest weights & measures). The early Church itself was Socialist: they sold all they had and everyone was given what they needed because they believed that what they had wasn't theirs, but God's and they, themselves, were not free but God's "personal property" (translated "peculiar people" in the King James.

The Christian Right, is, essentially, a reinterpretation of Christianity to accommodate American materialism - just as the Southern Baptist Church was founded to accommodate slavery. And, in that sense, it is heretical. The Left is not innocent - all too often we trust in government instead of God in different areas than does the Right, but God gets second place either way.