A man dies and meets St. Peter at the Pearly gates. Behind St. Peter, is a wall of clocks. The man asks St. Peter, "What are all those clocks".
St Peter answers, " Everyone has one. The hands move when someone lies".
The man asks about George Washington. St Peter says."The hands have never moved".
The man: What about Abe Lincoln?
St Peter: Only moved twice.
The man: Where is Glenn Beck's clock?
St. Peter: It's in Jesus' office. He's using it for a fan!