A woman came bursting into her lawyer's office and declared, "I want a divorce."
"But why?" asked the startled lawyer. "Do you have grounds?"
"Sure do! A house in Paramus and a cabin in the Poconos."
"No, what I mean is, do you have some kind of grudge?"
"Not exactly, but there's a carport in front of the house," she replied.
"That's not what I mean," said the lawyer, exasperated. "Your husband, does he beat you up or something?"
"Oh, no, I'm the first one up every morning."
"Madam!" yelled the lawyer. "Can you just tell me why you want a divorce?"
"Yes! It's because I just can't carry on a decent conversation with the man!"